Peach Aficionado Gifts

Selections from the Sliced Peach collection of Shelley M.

News. Fruit Heist. The peach thief has stuck again - details are fuzzy.

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Apples for sale

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Archimedes, Galileo, Copernicus

Newton forgets gravity, discovers delicious apple

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'GM apples prevent Migraine'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'It's caused by doing too many wrist curls, overindulging in spinach and... Excuse me. Everyone in here - stat - if you want to see an actual case of 'Popeye Syndrome'!'

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

"God's sent us some chocolates."

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"Would you like the Death by Chocolate, Cheesecake, Brownie, Fudge, or just peacefully while you sleep?"

'I made it chocolate so it wouldn't show the dirt.'

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"It's scary how empty I feel inside. It's Easter, but I'm feeling like Hollow-een"

If Sir Issac Newton and William Tell were brothers, gravity would never have been discovered.

"Well, then - two apples a day."

'My final offer.'

Friends often dropped by and subjected Sir Isaac to a little good-natured ridicule.

Isaac Newton and the Apple Tree

Mom's Diner: Apple Pie Filling.

F&E Produce. I had interesting customers today. First, a beautician checked out the purple potatoes and yellow beets. Ah, a hair stylist inspected the colored roots! That card shark bought some fruit. Two pears, I'll bet! A journalist was searching for an onion alternative. He needs leeks! And labor negotiators requested to increase their usual vegetable order. They asked for a celery hike, eh? I think the customers are the best part of this job. Yeah, you never know who will turnip!

'The biggest problem in this business is convincing your wife that money doesn't grow on trees.'

Three Scientists Who Discovered Gravity Before Isaac Newton Did

Eve's Gourmet Apple Recipes (snake with apple in its mouth).

Elephant walking out of urologist office carrying 2 peanuts in jar.

"She's genetically modified, you know."