Peaceful Traveler Gifts

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

'Have you been working out?'

"Yipeee!"

Relax.

On Holiday

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Mexican Dog

A cow is trying to hitchhike away from the slaughterhouse.

'English?...do...you...speak...ENGLISH?'

A friar

'You're taking this Grey Nomad stuff a bit seriously aren't you'

"I manage to avoid jetlag by just catching an earlier flight..."

'We'd just like to get away from partisan politics for a while...'

Angel hitchhiker has sign: 'Bible Belt'

Jesus Fish

"Hey, can you turn that thing down?!"

"I'm in the 56-year intensive program, all meals included."

"For this I went to seminary."

Eco-tourists vs echo tourists.

Welcome Student Ministers: 'I hardly slept last night, with all the Bible thumping!'

"Smile!"

"At this time I'd like to ask you to remain calm, fasten your seat belt and flap your arms just as fast as you can."

The Vicar in Customs

'Sorry friend, you must have taken a wrong turn, this is actually the mild west... but we're having pilates after lunch if you wanna stay.'

treat for child in car gets more smiles per gallon

'Welcome to Lourdes'

'All communication devises must be turned off during take off, Reverend.'

Migration to the Netherlands

'This could be a lovely place if only there were less lousy tourists!'