Payment Method Ponderer Gifts

"Paper or Plastic?"

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

If you can't afford the milk you drink, there are options. I can put you on a payment plan. Minimal APR since you're such a valued customer. Valued?! You hardly treat me like I'm valued, you miser! YOU TREAT ME WITH CONTEMPT! Good point. Maximum APR, then.

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

"It's from the Facebook company. They're buying out every messaging platform."

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

'No raise, but we can make your desk and chair one-inch taller.'

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

'U.S. Manufacturing'

'Stare at it all you want sir, but I can assure you, no one is going to jump out and yell 'April Fools.'

Look, you know what models get paid. Don't act all freaked out by your check!

' I earn a six-figure income, if you count those two little numbers after the decimal point.'

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

'By not getting a raise, you're making a nice contribution to our bottom line.'

"The bad news is your pay will now be performance-based. The good news is they've just raised the minimum wage."

"My take home pay must have gone to someone else's house."

'All right, pal, that's enough! Are you gonna pay for the paper or not?'

'Doc, when I had a look at my salary statement, I got a motivation leak'!

'And remember - happiness can't buy you money.'

'To be honest, I did expect a better bonus this year.'

'Who crossed the road first, the chicken or the egg?' Francis has always struggled with philosophy.

"We earn more every couple of days than Willie Mays ever got for a full season. Are we overpaid, or what?"

"I always just check the box without reading that stuff."

"I can't bear the way he dishes out the pay-packets"

Every man is innocent until proven broke.

'OK, footballers are not worth their millions - how much would YOU pay to watch someone do YOUR job?'

Drinks vending machine: Tea, Coffee, No idea what this is, Urgh, and Best not.

'The company bought you a health club membership, and now you want to take sick leave?'

The Ghost of Christmas Post - a floating postman appears from a man's bedroom wall, two months late delivering his Christmas mail.

'My take home pay won't even take me home.'