Paycheck Lover Gifts

"Of course the job has benefits - you benefit by getting a paycheck every week!"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

'Don't you ever knock?'

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Wait a minute....!

'No raise, but we can make your desk and chair one-inch taller.'

'Your heart's not in the job - admit you're only doing it for the money!'

'I've reconsidered your request for a pay rise, and I've decided that you do deserve one after all.'

"Of course there's emotion in business. Has your heart never skipped a beat at the sight of a long string of zeros after a seven."

"More important than money?! There's only one thing more important than money and that's more money!"

Professional football.

'Say what you like about Capitalism, it makes the gravy train run on time.'

'Stare at it all you want sir, but I can assure you, no one is going to jump out and yell 'April Fools.'

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

'I'm prepared to pay you a living wage. Of course, what kind of a living you get out of it is entirely up to you.'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

'A loan, certainly, how much would you like?'

"I see it's payday again Perkins!"

"With so many applicants for a few jobs, we can lower the pay and drop the benefits!"

'The only thing keeping me from being successful is not having a salary.'

Loans. To make a long story short, my cash flow needs some new tributaries.

"We've got borrower's remorse."

'How much do you want?' - 'How much have you got?'

'Humans are really worried about us leaving. They're offering us tax incentives to stay.'

'I suppose you've often wondered what you'd do if you had my income.'

Look, you know what models get paid. Don't act all freaked out by your check!

'Here are today's numbers: I earn $1369 per day, an increase of $548 per day over my previous job...'