Pay Rise Philosopher Gifts

See district directors/refer to supervisors/apply to assistant managers/inquire of clerks/members of bureacracy demand higher wages.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

'I'm prepared to offer you a raise, if you work hard. I knew there'd be a catch.'

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

"Mom, I got the raise. They moved me to the second floor."

'Gibson, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

"I knew there would be a catch."

'A raise? Listen, Pomeroy -- you know how I feel about clumsy attempts to fine-tune the economy!'

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

'I'm prepared to pay you a living wage. Of course, what kind of a living you get out of it is entirely up to you.'

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

'Have you seen these figures?' - 'I refuse to answer, on the grounds it may effect my next pay rise.'

'The only thing keeping me from being successful is not having a salary.'

"With so many applicants for a few jobs, we can lower the pay and drop the benefits!"

'I did get a raise. Could that be it?'

'I suppose you've often wondered what you'd do if you had my income.'

"A delightful arrangement Miss Chalmers..."

"I agree you're due for a raise, and when you leave my office, you'll still be due for a raise!"

How Will You Spend Your Extra $5 an Hour?

GP pay award wheel.

'This next song is about a close call and a near success. It's called The Grant that Got Away.'

'Of course I'm overpaid, everyone is overpaid!'

'If that's the going salary, then what's the starting salary?'

"So you're getting chicken feed...they expect me to work for peanuts."