Pay Rise Enthusiast Gifts

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

'I'm prepared to offer you a raise, if you work hard. I knew there'd be a catch.'

"Mom, I got the raise. They moved me to the second floor."

'Gibson, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'I do my best work when I'm being paid a huge salary.'

'I want to discuss my salary!'

'Have you seen these figures?' - 'I refuse to answer, on the grounds it may effect my next pay rise.'

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

'I did get a raise. Could that be it?'

'I could be happy with less.. but I'd rather be ecstatic with more.'

"I agree you're due for a raise, and when you leave my office, you'll still be due for a raise!"

How Will You Spend Your Extra $5 an Hour?

'Here are today's numbers: I earn $1369 per day, an increase of $548 per day over my previous job...'

"A delightful arrangement Miss Chalmers..."

GP pay award wheel.

"The salary is excellent and the benefits are outstanding. So... which would you prefer?"

"Personally I don't think our salaries are too high - I see them as legitimate compensation for the emotional trauma we suffer due to the public's disdain for our high salaries."

'I like it. It reminds me of my bonus development.'

'I can't hear you. Fred, did you get the raise?'

'Today, tax free municipals rose...on news that what's important is not how much you earn, but how much you get to keep!'

'I got the raise!'

"Anne, you get a promotion. Jim, you get a raise. And Bob, to be politically correct, you get a participation trophy."

'It doesn't bother me that I don't know what I'm doing. I'm paid vast amounts of money.'

At home with the Flags

See district directors/refer to supervisors/apply to assistant managers/inquire of clerks/members of bureacracy demand higher wages.

"If you are paying us like penguins don't expect us to fly like reindeers."

"For the first year, you get a cost-of-living raise every three months. Then, you hit the donut hole."