Pawprint Ponderer Gifts

'Why do you cats always have to leave tracks on my nice clean car?'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Dog and Human Archaeologists

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"It makes me happy that you took time to read the newspaper today."

Boxes marked 'In', 'Out' and 'How did this end up on my desk?'

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

"I like office work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours!"

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

Doo inc..can and no can.

Document Filing in the Post-Literate Era.

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

"Crap in" and "crap out"

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

'Does he mean before or after the needs survey?'

Fish Food

"You're right! It is much easier to explain it this way!"

A man about to plug in a lamp looks at electric sockets on the wall that say 'Solar,' 'Hydro Electric' and 'Nuclear.'

'It's an EIEIO!'

In, out, and back in again trays

Jupid/Jupiter/Jupidest