Pawprint Ponderer Gifts

'Why do you cats always have to leave tracks on my nice clean car?'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

Dog and Human Archaeologists

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"It makes me happy that you took time to read the newspaper today."

Boxes marked 'In', 'Out' and 'How did this end up on my desk?'

Doo inc..can and no can.

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

"I like office work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours!"

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

Planetary Science. What do we call the study of gas giants in space? Gastronomy.

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

Document Filing in the Post-Literate Era.

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

Fish Food

"Crap in" and "crap out"

"You're right! It is much easier to explain it this way!"

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

'Does he mean before or after the needs survey?'

Where Meteorites Come From. Ahh-choo!

A man about to plug in a lamp looks at electric sockets on the wall that say 'Solar,' 'Hydro Electric' and 'Nuclear.'

'It's an EIEIO!'

Jupid/Jupiter/Jupidest