Patriotic Punster Pillows

''The consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

"O.K., now can you make like a million little tiny ones?"

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

British savings accounts

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

I think you're ace

Dogs life

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Uncle Donnie

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"Read me the one about Ali Obama and the Forty Community Organizers."

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

Statue of Liberty: Out of Service

Bitter End

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

I wonder who's Kissinger now?