Historical Punster Pillows

Wash and Let My People Go

'My broker swears it's a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme.'

'he was just a temp.'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

K9 Literati

Dogs life

'Out, damned Spot.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"I'll carve the wheels, you'll sell them, and Oog, here, can be customer service."

'Caesar salad?'

''The consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

Veloci-Rapper

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

Garden of Eden and scrumping

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

2B or not 2B

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

Optometrist Humor

"Damn autocorrect!"

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

'I'm calling my invention 'IPO'.'

Bitter End

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"Have you ever considered getting braces?"

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

"Look - I've just invented the spade!..."

'These continuous tax increases will be the death of us.'

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'