Patio Perfectionist Gifts

'I can't keep this up every weekend... next time get some advice on patio laying.'

'Low maintenance gardening'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'No I'm not the waiter. We sell outdoor furniture.'

Back Yard

"First time pruning?"

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Aprons

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

We practically live out here in the summer.

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'See I told you the garden was big enough for a table and chairs.'

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

Woman is surrounding by penguins and can't reach her camera

"This painting will make you so famous that you won't be able to walk down the street without being recognised."

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'You spend too much time in this stuffy pub.' 'I'll go out onto the patio.'

Ballet shoes balancing on a telephone wire

'This course is a great ego builder.'

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

"...And then beyond the lawn, a lily pool with fountains and..."

"Let's go, this is definitely a manicured lawn: we won't find clover or dandelions here..."

"Don't make me look fat!"

"Actually, we're not a snow sculpture. Just been waiting for table service since September."

"I'm desperate, John. Please lend me your lawnmower."

"It's better digitally enhanced."

"He hasn't the heart to discharge her. She's been with him for years."

Mount Everest.