Patio Perfectionist T-Shirts

'I can't keep this up every weekend... next time get some advice on patio laying.'

'Low maintenance gardening'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'No I'm not the waiter. We sell outdoor furniture.'

Back Yard

"First time pruning?"

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Aprons

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'See I told you the garden was big enough for a table and chairs.'

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

Woman is surrounding by penguins and can't reach her camera

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'You spend too much time in this stuffy pub.' 'I'll go out onto the patio.'

Ballet shoes balancing on a telephone wire

'This course is a great ego builder.'

"Let's go, this is definitely a manicured lawn: we won't find clover or dandelions here..."

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

"...And then beyond the lawn, a lily pool with fountains and..."

"Don't make me look fat!"

"He hasn't the heart to discharge her. She's been with him for years."

"It's better digitally enhanced."

"I'm desperate, John. Please lend me your lawnmower."

"Actually, we're not a snow sculpture. Just been waiting for table service since September."

Mount Everest.

'I know it's your best round ever, but did you really have to enlarge the scorecard that much?'

"He was very talented, yet very near-sighted portrait painter!"