Yard Perfectionist T-Shirts

"Mrs. Dillof ... Mr. Dillof?"

"Look, I said I was sorry. Quit digging up the past."

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Gardener

"First time pruning?"

"He loves his leaf blower."

The Last Leaf

Beginning Yarder.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

"You see a bunny rabbit in the clouds. I see mom telling me to mow the lawn."

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

"It's called being preemptive."

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

"Sorry, but no. I can't lend you a student to help clean up your yard."

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'I'm out of bags.'

Leaves.

Secateurs/Non-Secateurs.

"Let's go, this is definitely a manicured lawn: we won't find clover or dandelions here..."

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

"...And then beyond the lawn, a lily pool with fountains and..."

"You wanted me to mow all the grass?"

"I'm desperate, John. Please lend me your lawnmower."

"I think I've found your transistor radio."

"Got anything that will expire before I do?"