Patient Philosopher Gifts

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

Next cartoon - 5 minutes...

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

"So that's where you were last night."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'Okay - who leaked?'

'Bored?'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

'Dr. Bone's first opening for a new patient is 2 months from now. Will that work for you?'

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

Rodin's 'The Thinker' imagines himself as Rodin's 'The Kiss'.

Clerical Training Course - 'Gentlemen, we are here to practise what we preach.'

"Look on the dark side."

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

"Dehumanization, maybe, but not depersonalization."

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

"I can see you're concerned about the amount of medication you're taking. Let me see if I can give you something for that."

"Maybe he's waving and drowning."

'No matter how hard I work, I'll never get higher on the food chain then this?'