Tenant Philosopher Gifts

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

"I rented out the basement."

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know what your office staff are doing?'

Home Sweet Sign

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

Saguaro Cacti.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"We need to be careful."

Bug to bug: 'Do you think there is life on other plants?'

It's either an intriguing and witty reflection upon the creation of concepts out of an absence of substance...or he's missed his bus.

Planets in solar system form a New World Order.

The ethics professor weeding his garden.

Turtle Eviction

'No, now I'm just fighting inbox inequality."

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.

'My 70th...hmmm.. that's shelter, food and sex out of the way. I guess it's time to move on to life's next challenge; mastery over my environment.'

Rumors of war...rumors of peace.

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

"A thirst for knowledge, …. That was another of my great thirsts."