Artistic Tenant Gifts

"The flat I rented from you is a pig-sty!"

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

"I rented out the basement."

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

Home Sweet Sign

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

'Most of my clients are shareholders, managers and sales executives.'

"I see you have experience marking territory."

'It wasn't until Picasso realzed he was earning $2,856 per hour that he began painting all night.'

'Last time I share-house with a Wookie!'

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

Symbolism for Artists

"I suffer for my art..."

David Hockney

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

"We need to be careful."

Man on an Island has a sign that says: Selling Out Must Vacate Lost Lease.

Turtle Eviction

"I've been evicted."

On Summer Recess See U Soon!

The lessor of two evils.

"I've heard of junk in the trunk... But art in the cart?" "It's a great way to spread joy, my boy!"

"Hold still - almost done."

Small Business Loan of Pencils

'Oh darn, I made a mistake!'

Artist in Residence

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'Water is included with rent.'

"Once upon a time there were three little pigs who had this real sweetheart of a rent-controlled deal."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Did you know your fly was open?'