Patient Education Gifts

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

Distance to avoid contagion

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

"Gross."

WHO checklist

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

Doctors Discussion

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"The truth is, doctor, I've lost faith in Western medicine."

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

'Bored?'

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"This is a teaching hospital."

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his, and he caught yours."

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

'Let me though! - I'm a Doctor.'

Criminal Germs

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Handicap parking sign for person in hospital bed.

Med School Mascots.