Doctor-patient Relationship Buff Gifts

"Reaching for your wallet at the front desk, however, should be no problem!"

'Where does it hurt?'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

'Hey, what do you want from me? As a primary care physician, ALL I DO is prescribe drugs and refer you to specialists.'

A doctor statue and a patient statue

"You can't check my pulse while I'm checking your pulse!"

"Is this your first time seeing a specialist?"

"Unfortnuately, we won't know what's wrong with you until we do an autopsy."

"So, we are all agreed, gentlemen. There shouldn't be that many of those, and that's a funny colour."

I like having an older doctor. He understands my ailments and has most of em!

"He wants to know what's taking me so long."

"Lucky we caught it early. It's easier to treat in the larva stage."

"It's the only way I can get some of my paitents to listen to me."

'I could kiss it and make it better, but it's not covered by your insurance.'

'This is only a placebo, but trust me, it works!'

'The doctor will see you as soon as he shrugs into his god suit.'

'I'd like to take some x-rays to determine if there is a problem or if you're just being a big baby.'

"… All the lab work confirms it — I’m sorry, Mr. Franklin … You’re old."

'The good news is that it's not my problem.'

"Why don't I just tell you the treatments I'm willing to do and we'll assume I have whatever disease that's good for!"

'Doctor Bohan will see you now, Mrs. Stradley, but he really doesn't want to.'

'It's a nasty little rash, nothing to worry about!'

"Well, if it's elective surgery, I vote no."

"There's very little of this going around? Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"You know, you wanting to get a second opinion is very insulting to my medical degree."

I'm suffering from kleptomania, Doctor. Can I take your temperature?...

"I'd like to see you a little taller, and a little younger."

"You want a second opinion? Do you have a second illness?''

"I know we agreed to a period of watchful waiting, but this is more watchful than I bargained for."

"Alright, alright - I PROMISE I won't get a second opinion."