Doctor-patient Interactions Gifts

'Where does it hurt?'

"You can't check my pulse while I'm checking your pulse!"

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

I'm afraid nurse Wilcox can't have a supportive caring chat with you until she's had the appropriate training.

'Hey, what do you want from me? As a primary care physician, ALL I DO is prescribe drugs and refer you to specialists.'

"Your sodium level is high...probably from taking everything you hear with a grain of salt!"

'Heroic stoicism has its rewards.'

A doctor statue and a patient statue

"Is this your first time seeing a specialist?"

"Well, if you want my blood pressure lower don't keep waiting two hours to see you."

'Very interesting... your blood pressure is 17 over 76.'

That rattling sound in your chest doesn't concern me as much as that rattling sound in your head.

"Unfortnuately, we won't know what's wrong with you until we do an autopsy."

'No. I said, 'Inhale deeply, and hold your breath.''

"So, we are all agreed, gentlemen. There shouldn't be that many of those, and that's a funny colour."

"I hope you're not one of those kids who have trouble swallowing pills."

Your nose is running...which I guessing is more than I can say for your feet.

"He wants to know what's taking me so long."

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about Lyme disease."

"It's the only way I can get some of my paitents to listen to me."

"What is your ideal weight?"

"I have inoculation issues."

'You have nothing to worry about. You're only imagining you have hypochondria.'

"When I said you should take a walk every day I didn't just need to see me!"

'This is only a placebo, but trust me, it works!'