Patchwork Gifts

Hey, how'd you get a crazy quilt?

'Have you finished mending my coat!'

Joseph and his coat

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

I quilt therefore I am

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

Scratchy carves out another masterpiece.

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

Boy with soccer spot patch on eye next to pirate.

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know how I managed without it."

"Looks like you've got carpenter ants."

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

'Look! I grew a carrot!'

If it's any consolation, you burned the bejeezus out of his finger.

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

DIY Disaster.

"Is it really necessary to shout 'Nailed it!' every time you hammer a nail?"

Man with Stop Signs.

'Are you admiring my embroidery, dear? To fully appreciate it you need these...'

Unfinished Furniture.

The King's New Robes.

"I'm getting notes of 2 x 4."

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

Introducing: Eye-Quit. The Nicotine Patch for Pirates...

Lumberjack cutting down tree in the rain.

Japan-Reconstruction

'Wouldn't it have been easier to cut off the top of the tree?'

Make do and mend

"Where did you learn to chop trees?"

"All right. Where did Jenkins go?"

"I can't give you a reason for what I do or a logical explanation as to what I do: I'm an artist..."

'I adore a man of many parts.'