Patchwork Aficionado Gifts

Make do and mend

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

I quilt therefore I am

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Joseph and his coat

Where Scottish milk comes from.

Patient after an appendix operation

Normal Paisley - Deadly Strain is Introduced.

'Look! I grew a carrot!'

"What? You asked me to draw you a bath."

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

Jackson Pollock's early paint-by-numbers period.

Sewing Machines in Surgery

"Love the exposed chessboard."

"Bad drawing."

'Are you admiring my embroidery, dear? To fully appreciate it you need these...'

When upholstery attacks

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

Lumberjack cutting down tree in the rain.

'He fainted when he saw the needle.'

The King's New Robes.

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"....And Mother Yancy will be assisting the reattachment team this morning..."

101 ideas for blotting pad doodles

'I adore a man of many parts.'

"I like to sketch out my designs first."

'Yes! That's it! --- Only the handles were a lot longer.'

Man and woman knitting together.

"Soul patch. What do you think?"

A man with a desert island on his shirt meets a man with planes on his shirt.

"I guess we’ll take that one."

'Didn't your doctor tell you that you're not supposed to light the nicotine patches?'

'Addicted to the Internet? Try our new patch!' (At the pharmacy).

'Do the patches help?'

'Do you like the Hush Puppies?'