Patchwork Aficionado Pillows

Make do and mend

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

I quilt therefore I am

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Joseph and his coat

Where Scottish milk comes from.

Normal Paisley - Deadly Strain is Introduced.

Patient after an appendix operation

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

"What? You asked me to draw you a bath."

'Look! I grew a carrot!'

Jackson Pollock's early paint-by-numbers period.

Sewing Machines in Surgery

"Love the exposed chessboard."

"Bad drawing."

'Are you admiring my embroidery, dear? To fully appreciate it you need these...'

When upholstery attacks

The King's New Robes.

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

Lumberjack cutting down tree in the rain.

'He fainted when he saw the needle.'

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"....And Mother Yancy will be assisting the reattachment team this morning..."

101 ideas for blotting pad doodles

"I like to sketch out my designs first."

'Yes! That's it! --- Only the handles were a lot longer.'

'I adore a man of many parts.'

"Soul patch. What do you think?"

Man and woman knitting together.

"I guess we’ll take that one."

A man with a desert island on his shirt meets a man with planes on his shirt.

'No money. I just want that hysterical outfit you're wearing.'

'Didn't your doctor tell you that you're not supposed to light the nicotine patches?'

'Addicted to the Internet? Try our new patch!' (At the pharmacy).

'Do the patches help?'