Funny Patch Enthusiast Pillows

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

Joseph and his coat

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

"Leftover seeds."

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

'You have to clean it yourself. There is no delete key.'

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

Make do and mend

'I adore a man of many parts.'

"Soul patch. What do you think?"

'Whoever gets this job will have to take a lot of s**t from me and you look like you're just right for the job.'

"I guess we’ll take that one."

'Didn't your doctor tell you that you're not supposed to light the nicotine patches?'

'Do the patches help?'

'We're promoting you to Full Professor, Ferguson -- Here are your elbow patches!:'

"Tia Carmen is pretty picky. She wants these plates to be clean enough to eat off of."

$500 fee for breaking the law - ignorance is no excuse!

Junk food next to junk yard.

"How did the marathon go?"

'She won't admit it, but I think she's had a facelift and a nose job.'

"Gasp - new nicotine patch...new nicotine patch..."

'Have you lost the plot?'

Devolution of the United Kingdom

"I'm afraid I'm patenting you."

Vaccine

Patch tattoo

'I gave up smoking - now I'm on 20 patches a day!'

Think globally, act silly!

'The holidays always make me feel so hollow inside.'