Patch Pal Gifts

'Why are you wearing nicotine patches on your eyes?' - 'It stops me finding my cigarettes.'

I quilt therefore I am

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Juniors Baby Sitting Service.

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

"Hi, kid! Did you watch 'Sesame Street' today?"

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Over the years, Marvin began to look like his bull mastiff.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Joseph and his coat

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

Boy with soccer spot patch on eye next to pirate.

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

"Bailey! What part of 'never jump on the Stickley' don't you understand?!"

He said nothing about being cremated before his remains were scattered on the pitch.

'Look! I grew a carrot!'

I once flew faster than a speeding bullet

"Roaches, rats, mice, fleas, silverfish… we're all the family of vermin."

'How do you want me to answer that question, Norm? As an attorney, or as your best friend?'

Be a friend.

Dog bath

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

Exercise rat race

'Can't you just hand me a plastic worm?!'

Introducing: Eye-Quit. The Nicotine Patch for Pirates...

Mammoth bone and the dogs.

"Listen...Tonight I'll decide when I've had enough"