Password Humorist Gifts

"What's my password? Oh yeah... 'OnCe upona thimeh.'"

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"Did you get my tweet?"

"OMG, LOL!"

'You said the computer was coming between us. So I put your name as my password.'

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"She looks just like in your photos."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

The Smartass Phone

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

Advertising on the internet.

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

Twitter that!

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

'for more obit info, go to...'

Facebook For Dogs.

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

The Escape Key

"Just right click, save as, and now you own the complete works of William Shakespeare."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'