Passport Office Staff Gifts

'Well sir, you saw the memo 'Reduce the Backlog' simple!'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

The World's Easiest Airport

TSA Noah

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Packed like sardines

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

Employee of the Month Parking

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

Disinformation booth.

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

Limerick Airport

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

Airport Bored Rooms

Library Computer Center: Cybrarian

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

Rubbish Carousel

'Grrrr....'

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

"That's mine. No, wait - I have one that looks just like that."

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'

"It's my helper trout!"