Passionate Bleacher Resident Gifts

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'Anderson! On this team we slap hands or slap fannies after someone scores a run. We do not slap faces.'

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Fan-Centric Stadium

'...So what if all the other parents screamed at the umpire?...'

'Geez, Dad! You never scream your lungs out at the refs! Don't you love me?!'

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

'I hired a local guide. He knows every square inch of this stadium...'

'My pitcher needs to get fired up by the home crowd. Pass the collection basket.'

'Time out!'

Bad Knees.

How to show some hustle.

'Yo, Bob! I think a heckler just nailed me with something. What's on my back?'

Dugout sale!

'Just made a pass. I'm running for the end zone.'

American Sports Idol.

Benchwarmer coach.

'Let's keep a tight rein on this game. Emotions are running hight.'

'What'd I miss?'

'Son, that was just a white lie to get you to come with me ... They don't really hand out 3-D glasses at the ballpark.'

'Pass this down, please.'

'Attaboy, Dewey! Three up and three down!'

'Heads up!!'

'I told you these were great seats, but there is a downside. If you need to go to the restroom...'

'We lost everything - hot dogs, popcorn, game programs, an order of nachos. Got out of our seats with just the clothes on our backs, but we're both OK, and that's what matters most.'

'Bad hop! Walk it off, babe, walk it off.'

'What's the score?'

Players from both teams charge into the seats and grab the belligerent fan.

'Yo, coach! I think I found that promising young fielder with the hot bat who suddenly disappeared in the playoffs last fall!'