Party Joker Pillows

"I was at a party and got some avocado dip in my eye..."

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

'Pembrook got his pony tail just in time.'

"Never mind about star signs what blood group are you"

"Allow me to introduce my wife - she's been giving me the silent treatment since 1982."

"Why'd you give it to Darrin? You know he always cuts everyone's head off."

"I'm sorry, but I assumed it was a fancy dress costume..."

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'You know too much,'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Good News about winter

Fish hunting for men.

Get crazy once in a while

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

Candid Camera store.

Dancing in pyjamas

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

Shoes Make The Man

Batman's Baby

'Personally I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables.'

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

Caution May Contain Nuts.