Party Host Extraordinaire T-Shirts

'Notice the quintessential taste of Tuscany in this impressive little vintner we picked up on our last trip to Italy.'

Punch

'Just pass them round - don't try to sell them!'

Tartine

Wine Lady

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Shaken not stirred

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'Sorry, miss. It seems to be stuck!'

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

Pinata Trophies

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

Mini Bar

'There's no mention of stuffing. Keep going until you get to the sugar and spice.'

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Budget Munchies

Roller Coasters

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"Son, I've asked Mr. Puffer to instruct you on the finer points of classical as your new tooter."

'He's been shot!'

"My bouche was not amused."

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'Do you cater weddings?' Why the groom is never put in charge of anything.

Please Leave by 9

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

Unemployed man given role as the 'gluten fairy'.

House Plant Party

We're having a dinner party.

A Good Year.