Party Fitness Guru Gifts

"Remember to keep hydrated, tell me when you want more Prosecco."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Bench Press Accident

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Yoga Xmas Decorations

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Still Life With Nordic Track

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Psychiatry in the Park

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

"I've gotta lay off the 3 little pigs."

Dog Weightlifting

Gym. Try our Boot Camp Classes. I was dishonorably discharged!

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

It doesn't get any better than this --- Tai Chi with chai tea!

Miracles of modern sports medicine: the Nerdectomy.

"His fitness tracker said he needed 36 minutes more sleep!"

"Still on your left."

May, 1502. . . Leonardo Da Vinci Invents the Exercise Bike

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

A mid-lithe crisis.