Party Fitness Guru T-Shirts

"Remember to keep hydrated, tell me when you want more Prosecco."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Yoga Xmas Decorations

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Bench Press Accident

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Psychiatry in the Park

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"My fit watch has conspired with the TV remote. The remote only stays on some fitness channel until I get up and exercise."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

"His fitness tracker said he needed 36 minutes more sleep!"

"I've gotta lay off the 3 little pigs."

Miracles of modern sports medicine: the Nerdectomy.

Dog Weightlifting

"Still on your left."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

May, 1502. . . Leonardo Da Vinci Invents the Exercise Bike

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

A mid-lithe crisis.

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

'If you want your diet to work, you're going to have to take the wheels off your refrigerator.'