Partner With A Messy Side Pillows

'Doesn't he ever wash these things?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Mixed Doubles.

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Holding hands

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Advanced footsie

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'Quick, press control Z!'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

"Apart from that, Bob, what else did you learn on the team-building paintball weekend?"

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

You are simply the Greatest

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

I love ewe.

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

"Wanna play?"

"You complete me."

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."