Parting Ways Gifts

"We both knew this day would come."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

The prying mantis,

"I can't believe he brought her."

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

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He leaves, but soon realizes his roots run too deep.

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'