Moving Apart Together Gifts

"It's our new living apart-together relationship."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

LAY ZEE FUK

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You've changed."

Cat Towels

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

Layer cake

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Love is when you watch television together.

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

Pyjama party

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

"You're hogging the covers again!"

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

Bed Seasons

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'