Moving Apart Together Pillows

"It's our new living apart-together relationship."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

LAY ZEE FUK

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You've changed."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Love is when you watch television together.

Layer cake

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

Pyjama party

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"You're hogging the covers again!"

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'