Living Together Pillows

"It's from my parents. An invitation to our wedding."

"So that's where you were last night."

The Couple who bought complete services for twelve, including dinner plates, luncheon plates, salad plates, soup bowls. . . .Out of Wedlock

"I'm holding up a 'Do not disturb' sign in bed."

Towels: His, Her, Ex.

"That's fine. I've learned to enjoy TV with no sound when we're at odds."

'Separate bedrooms aren't enough -- we need separate breakfast nooks.'

"Is that what you're wearing?"

LAY ZEE FUK

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Dog Walking Services

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You've changed."

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Layer cake

Love is when you watch television together.

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"You're hogging the covers again!"

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

Pyjama party

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."