Family Living Pillows

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

Cat sheds a lot when petted.

"I'm bucking the trend. I'm moving into my parents' attic."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Cry babies.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

The Baby Walker

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Ahhh...'

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

My First Camera

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Dog Walking Services