Extended Family Living Pillows

'We love having you in the Granny flat, mother, but we must respect each others space.'

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

Paul goes home for the holidays

Family members!

"We balanced our budget this month!"

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

Mime Baby

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

"This might take awhile, Lord."

The Forever Stamp

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

Contest of wills.

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

Pretzel family.

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'A baby brother? — I'm not ready to make a commitment like that!'

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

Family Feeling

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."