Extended Family Expert Pillows

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

Paul goes home for the holidays

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

Family members!

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"This might take awhile, Lord."

The Forever Stamp

Mime Baby

Contest of wills.

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

Pretzel family.

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Family Feeling

"...some of these tadpoles may not be yours."

"The doctor says Tia Carmen is resting now...he's encouraging all family visitors to go home. We'll see you back here tomorrow."

"Do you remember when families used to get together and fight at Christmas?"

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"Someday, my dimwitted son, all this will belong to your sister."

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

The Hendersons: The Shitty Years

Inclusive family code in Cuba

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

Just your average family holiday portrait.

'Is it just my imagination, or do we have a lot more relatives now that we're throwing a tailgate party?'

'Harold's grandfather was one of the inventors of the hula-hoop.'

"When I was small, Santa Claus brought a lot of things...but the most important... He brought families together."

"We merged to save through volume buying."

Meerkats - A Family Portrait