Family It Expert Pillows

"I'm glad junior's finally leaving home, but I will miss the tech support."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

Virtual Beach

You are Here. We know where you've been.

'Mom, I need a push.'

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

CIA Recommended TVs

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

'We now have the technology to record your dreams. From now on, your dreams are our intellectual property.'

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

"There's even an app for being a mother!"

"You give Sticky Keys a new meaning."

Dogfights/Drone Fights

"I worry about the parents when I'm off to college. They're totally dependent on me for IT support."

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

'We've been spending too much time apart on our mobile devices, and we need some together time. Everybody log on to the family social media page.'

Man and woman being spied on from their TV.

"One of the advantages to working from home is free tech support!"

'Jeez, grandmom, here's your problem...you connect to WiFi, not HiFi!'

"Which side of the plates do the cellphones go?"

'Ah-ha! I found the problem, dad.'

'It used to be enough to keep them fed and clothed. Now it's fed, clothed and connected.'

"A brand new one will cost you $18. If I repair it the cost would be $397."

'Due to budget cuts, our school is not distributing report cards. They are available online for download. Luckily, I'm the only one in my family that is computer literate, not that I'll make changes or anything...'

"The days of the bartender-psychologist are over, but I can help if you have any software problems."