Family It Expert Gifts

"I'm glad junior's finally leaving home, but I will miss the tech support."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

Virtual Beach

You are Here. We know where you've been.

'Mom, I need a push.'

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

CIA Recommended TVs

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

Busy, Busy, Busy

'We now have the technology to record your dreams. From now on, your dreams are our intellectual property.'

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

"You give Sticky Keys a new meaning."

Dogfights/Drone Fights

"I worry about the parents when I'm off to college. They're totally dependent on me for IT support."

"There's even an app for being a mother!"

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

'We've been spending too much time apart on our mobile devices, and we need some together time. Everybody log on to the family social media page.'

"Are we sure this is how we get our workloads into the cloud?"

"One of the advantages to working from home is free tech support!"

Man and woman being spied on from their TV.

'Jeez, grandmom, here's your problem...you connect to WiFi, not HiFi!'

"Which side of the plates do the cellphones go?"

'I'm here in the rainforest to show you how to fashion an ipod using only twigs and moss.'

'It used to be enough to keep them fed and clothed. Now it's fed, clothed and connected.'

'Ah-ha! I found the problem, dad.'

"A brand new one will cost you $18. If I repair it the cost would be $397."

"The days of the bartender-psychologist are over, but I can help if you have any software problems."