Family Life Advisor Pillows

"Soup should be seen and not heard!"

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

celebrating a birth.

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"I'm so good at this!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Use your inside scream."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"I read the audio book."

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"Careful George. You don't want to hurt our baby boy."

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

"I've decided to have a kid."

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

'Go forth and multiply!'

"I suppose your mother and I should have said something earlier, but it never seemed like the right time to talk about your adoption."