Family Life Advocate Pillows

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'I know we hadn't planned on getting a bigger car until we had kids, but I think we need one now to accommodate the bumper-stickers.'

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"Hello, I just want to say whatever Jack did I'm very sorry..."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

celebrating a birth.

"It's his emotional support animal."

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"How is it gendered?"

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

'I already had one bath today! You want my skin to wear out?'

"Think you could teach your kid to throw straight?"

Junior's Towel

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

"Mommy you're perfect!"

"Hey, don't forget man's best friend!"

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

'For Peter's Home and Careers class, he has to take care of this computerized doll of a 23-year-old son who won't move out of the house.'

"You must be brave now, Randolph! You. . . You. . . You are adopted!"

"It's the old man's idea. Reckons his young executives should see more of their families."

'It's a grueling job that requires a strong commitment and personal sacrifice. Is your mother available?'

"I don't know what's worse - my helicopter mom or her drone."

"Honey! Come look at our little entrepreneur!"

For the Children

'How many are just staying together for the kids? OK, that's good, very good.'

"Once you leave your safe-space, you can never go back again."

"What's it like to have sexually active parents?"