Household Life Pillows

'I hate it when he begs for table scraps.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Hungry child

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'Like death by salad.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'