Part Predicament Enthusiast Pillows

Oh dear. The part that needs replacing has been discontinued because the huge demand for it kept the factory from making other parts.

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

Bad Interview Technique

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

Time management office worker

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

'If we had a bill of rights that got wronged, would it be right or wrong for a judge to right that wrong?'

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

'Excuse me, Mr. Pavlik, but that gentleman you called an idiot is here. Should I still say you're not in?'

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

'You're not what we hand in mind when we advertised for a new organist.'

'Did I say billions? I meant jillions.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

"Undress down to your underwear and have a seat. The optometrist will be in shortly."

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

"The interview was going great until she noticed on my c.v. that I was her ex husband."

'Anyone can arrange a blind date, only truly great ones can arrange a whole relationship.'

"He was gold prospecting, but since he dropped his phone in the water, he's now phone prospecting."

Yesterday, the warranty on the Wilsons' waterbed expired

'Better than looking at four walls is here.'

Dr. Miska: Eye, Ear, Nose and Embarrassing Bodily Functions.

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

'It's a guest tooth brush!!! You're not the only guest we've ever had, Dale!'

'Do we have to go through this every year Henman says he can win Wimbledon?'

"It's bad enough when someone give you a card who you didn't... but worse when it's a musical card!"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Jenkins doesn't like you."

"Hell, I'm from the dating agency. Can I move in with you."

'What I'm about to say, Miss Pomeroy, may shock and disgust you....'