Parlor Prankster Pillows

"Can you perform a large-scale miracle on a parlor trick budget?"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Boy rolled into a snowball

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

Resourceful toddler

Boy makes snowman around a lamp post.

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"If they want a snowball fight, then I'll give them one."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Tamagotchi paralysis.

Scary stuff

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

'I could eat you.'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

Teddy Time Bears

Ooooh! Someone got a carrot job! Someone got a carrot job!

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

'I did it all from memory.'

"Ok, I found a secure line."

Clown Skis.

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'