Parking Fine Payer Gifts

'Do you realise that I have a wife and kids to support?'

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

'Andrews, a parking space will be assigned to you in a day or two.'

"The good news is, we've managed to secure you a ?7 per week pay increase. The bad news is, we're going to charge ?2 per day to park your cars."

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

Car parked illegally has 'divorce attorney on call' sign in window.

"I couldn't find parking in the city, so I moved home, got back with my high-school girlfriend, had a baby, and got a great deal on a new car."

You said this transfer would be a great opportunity for me! Parking Patrol. No, I said you'd be able to write your own ticket.

'I think I see why attendance has been down.'

Reselling for Fun and Profit

Penny Farthing in Giant Wheel Clamp.

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

'I want just enough work done so I'll qualify for Handicapped Parking.'

The lengths some people will go to avoid paying their parking fees.

"While you were trying to work it out we got clamped."

"I was merely signifying - don't give me two tickets."

"He was only here as a visitor, but collapsed when he saw the car park charges."

"No, this is parking wardens' heaven you need lost persons' heaven."

No Parking - Financial Advisor On Call.

'Fixing parking tickets is a local matter.'

'This is my finest hour!'

"Look, buddy, the truth you need to know is that I won't stamp your parking ticket!

Two hour parking if you see the glass as half full, all others will be ticketed.

'No you're not on a double yellow, you're on my foot.'

'Oh man, I hate parallel parking.'

'I don't care if he was the King of England, he owes us 528 years of parking charges.'

'Couldn't you forget your job just for one day!'

Health Care Consultant on Call.

'Look. I don't care if you do work as a theater usher. You can't just tear up any ticket you want!!'

'I can park anywhere I want and never get a ticket.'

'You could at least have had the decency of waiting until I'd moved off!'

More Useful Doomsayers

"'Kiss of life' from a parking officer?! I'd rather die!!"

A fine for double parking? Yes, mine was the one on top.