Parking Fee Escapist Gifts

The lengths some people will go to avoid paying their parking fees.

Ethics exam cheater.

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Bo're'droom

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Nervous Oral Testing

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

I've decided to run for office so I can spend more time away from my family.

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

"Don't worry, Howard. The big questions are multiple choice."

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Academics at the Beach: Professor Wilson receives his email messages by the use of willpower alone.

Spam.

Hotel mini-bar.

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"Stop the clowning, Johnson. The final isn't going to be all that bad."

Spam.

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

"Can I start you off with my disappearance?"