Parking Fine Payer Pillows

'Do you realise that I have a wife and kids to support?'

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

'Andrews, a parking space will be assigned to you in a day or two.'

"The good news is, we've managed to secure you a ?7 per week pay increase. The bad news is, we're going to charge ?2 per day to park your cars."

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

Car parked illegally has 'divorce attorney on call' sign in window.

"I couldn't find parking in the city, so I moved home, got back with my high-school girlfriend, had a baby, and got a great deal on a new car."

'I think I see why attendance has been down.'

Penny Farthing in Giant Wheel Clamp.

"While you were trying to work it out we got clamped."

"No, this is parking wardens' heaven you need lost persons' heaven."

"He was only here as a visitor, but collapsed when he saw the car park charges."

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

'I want just enough work done so I'll qualify for Handicapped Parking.'

The lengths some people will go to avoid paying their parking fees.

"I was merely signifying - don't give me two tickets."

No Parking - Financial Advisor On Call.

'Fixing parking tickets is a local matter.'

'No you're not on a double yellow, you're on my foot.'

'This is my finest hour!'

Two hour parking if you see the glass as half full, all others will be ticketed.

"Look, buddy, the truth you need to know is that I won't stamp your parking ticket!

'Oh man, I hate parallel parking.'

'Couldn't you forget your job just for one day!'

'I don't care if he was the King of England, he owes us 528 years of parking charges.'

'Look. I don't care if you do work as a theater usher. You can't just tear up any ticket you want!!'

Health Care Consultant on Call.

More Useful Doomsayers

A fine for double parking? Yes, mine was the one on top.

'You could at least have had the decency of waiting until I'd moved off!'

"'Kiss of life' from a parking officer?! I'd rather die!!"

"Ten cents for a lousy five minutes", I thought, bitterly reflecting on a gentler time, when a single dime used to get me parking and a newspaper with enough left over to bribe the meter maid to let me off easy on my very first parking violation.