Park Player Gifts

Dolphins playing on a seesaw.

"Puff! Pant! They don't have to do this in the Premier League!"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Piracy on a boating lake

How about going easy on the carbs

''Yeah, mine's a rescue dog too.''

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

Six jazz instruments.

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

Life's a Bench.

"Ma'am! Stop spoiling the birds!"

Psychiatry in the Park

'You must all promise never to divulge what you are about to see.'

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

Little boys

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"It's unusual to see them reading this time of year."

Woman feeding squirrels and elephants nuts.

In summer, the nut-jobs buried by squirrels the previous fall begin to sprout.

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"You know it's peak allergy season when they welcome Mom back into the flock."

'This bread's actually meant for multiple ducks.'

"I could have gotten to the top . . . but I wasted all my time in the park."

"These are wonderful, precious years before he learns that he's benefitting from institutional racism."

Dog park. I'm terrible with names, but I'm good with butts.

"Negotiations are at a crucial phase. We're desperately seeking more ways to say 'no'.''

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'Has it ever ocurred to you that I just might like a jumbo burger, fries and a shake?'