Park Goer Gifts

'Oh, getting old isn't so bad, except maybe for a little forgetfulness.'

Woman feeding squirrels and elephants nuts.

How about going easy on the carbs

"It's never easy. The trick is to make it look easy."

'Well, back to work!'

'What ever happened to strolling?'

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

'Ever see a play called 'Zoo Story'?'

What do you take me for? I'm not feeding them - I'm poisoning them.

'Man, this guy's killing me!'

"Ma'am! Stop spoiling the birds!"

'Has it ever ocurred to you that I just might like a jumbo burger, fries and a shake?'

Life's a Bench.

"I'm cutting you off."

Stone the Crows 3pm

Piracy on a boating lake

"Wow, you're right—this is hard."

Man makes pigeons perform tricks for crisps.

"The only problem with these free meals is that we're getting too many carbohydrates!"

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"I miss the free food, but it's nice to get our seat back."

"No, this isn't some kind of bait and switch operation. I just enjoy feeding the birds."

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

'Call me 'spot' one more time and I'll tear your frickin' throat out!'

In summer, the nut-jobs buried by squirrels the previous fall begin to sprout.

"Will you do me a favor and feed the vultures first?"

'This bread's actually meant for multiple ducks.'

'It all began one day when I took lunch in the park.'

'I know you told Dad not to go on the swings... I've phoned for an ambulance.'

Please Clean Up After Your Dog

Role reversal: bird and humans.

'You spoil those pigeons.'

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

"Don't worry - he jumps, but not on people."

Psychiatry in the Park